Why I Won’t Watch John & Kate Plus Eight

Shortly after Madilyn was born I heard about the wildly popular “John & Kate Plus Eight” Show. I loved watching and catching up on episodes as I played with my own baby and watched her grow. It seemed really cool to me that their twins Cara and Madelyn, were also close to our names (even Cara’s middle name is the same as mine: Nicole). I even thought about writing in to tell them about it. I got their Zondervan book for Christmas as a gift from my mom, and I shared it with my sister-in-law, who had watched the show. I liked their subtle Christian witness, and most of all, I just enjoyed watching those beautiful kids and seeing how their parents juggled the chaos.

Now, along with the rest of America, I’m aware of the controversy surrounding the show and its players. I’m saddened for what it’s become, and I’ve made a decision not to watch the show anymore. And it’s not because I’m too good, or that I think they’re bad. The fact is simply that the show is no longer what it once was. And it didn’t get that way overnight. I remember watching last season and feeling of uncomfortable. I should have been discerning enough to realize things were going downhill fast. My personality tends to avoid conflict, and as this family deals with their demons in front of all of America, I’m content with sticking to taped episodes of “Ace of Cakes” and cartoons on Noggin. I just don’t want to be part of the problem. Some of my friends are praying for this family, and I commend them for that.

But I am interested in reading some analysis of the show, as we can all learn from what’s happening there. As this ChristianityToday.com editorial by Christian ethics professor Julie Vermeer Elliott outlines, many Christians have much to learn about their blind acceptance of the couple and their hypocrisy-filled disdain now that their marriage is in shambles. Here’s an excerpt:

“It was not until the recent allegations of sexual impropriety arose that a significant number of Christians began to question whether Jon and Kate were indeed the examples of faithful living that we had imagined. Somehow most of us missed the long trajectory that was, day by day, moving them farther from a life of Christian virtue. Sexual immorality—whether actual or merely suspected—caught our attention, but the materialism, narcissism, and exploitation of children that preceded it was largely overlooked.”

The editorial starts at the beginning – with the couple going against nature to conceive – to the more recent estrangement of Jon and Kate’s family and friends (most notably Aunt Jodi and Beth) and outlines the family’s seemingly misplaced priorities. But most notably, this editorial deals with “the shortcomings of evangelical piety”: how many in Christian community make idols out of inspirations and rarely stop to ask the most important questions.

(Let me add a comment here after a friend emailed me with some concerns about this article and my reaction to it. Specifically: I don’t think “going against nature to conceive” is any different than taking a Tylenol. The risks and outcomes are just different. I have no doubt I’d do it myself. Generally: The writer of this editorial paints John & Kate’s story with broad strokes looking for the big picture of how things changed over time, and asked questions that I did not think to ask. A different perspective is always worth considering, even it it’s not the one you’ll ultimately share.)

 

Proving God

ChristianityToday.com writers Gregory Fung and Christopher Fung explore results from a prayer study released a couple of years ago and their implications as it deals with faith and prayer. The study, along with others like them, attempt to measure differing results from a group of heart patients who receive prayer and a control group which doesn’t.

The study found that the prayed-for group actually fared worse than the control group. The CT article, “What Do Prayer Studies Prove?,” draws some positive analysis from the study’s findings, including:

• The study actually supports the Christian worldview, the writers say. “The real scandal of the study is not that the prayed-for group did worse, but that the not-prayed-for group received just as much, if not more, of God’s blessings. In other words, God seems to have granted favor without regard to either the quantity or even the quality of the prayers.”

• God appears inclined to heal and bless as many as possible and supernaturally intervenes and disrupts the nature of the universe to do it, whether they acknowledge it or not.

• Our obsession with whether prayer works is the wrong question. “We know prayer works,” the writers say. “The real question is, are we prepared for God’s answer?”

• God is eager to answer our prayers, and it has little to do with how correctly we say them or how fine-tuned our orthodoxy is. “This ought to give us confidence to act, believe, and work alongside the good and generous King, who calls us to advance his kingdom, bring healing to the world, and pray.”

Read the article here.

 

Mother’s Day Testimony

Ninetyandnine.com published a little Mother’s Day Testimony I wrote last week. I hope it will encourage other mothers!

 

N.T. Wright on Colbert

I read this book earlier this year and just found this clip of N.T. Wright on Colbert. Good food for though …

The Colbert Report	Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Bishop N.T. Wright
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor First 100 Days

 

Sliced and Diced

I had three moles biopsied today with more scheduled to be removed in the coming weeks. I’m going to a dermatologist and given the family history (my paternal grandmother and my father dying from melanoma), we’re being aggressive.

It was my first visit to this doctor and I didn’t realize they would be slicing and dicing today, so it took me off guard. Just being there made me think of Dad and how many times he went through this, and what it eventually led to. One mole was removed from the top of my foot and the other two from my back. Those have stitches! Thankfully they numbed the area but that hurt like the dickens itself. I’ve got more of that in store so I better buck up!

I was shaking and emotional when I left, so I cried in the car for a while then went shopping for a hat and sunglasses (and then got ice cream from Chick-fil-a). Although I wear sunscreen every day, the doctor said I should also be wearing a wide-brimmed hat and UV protective sunglasses in the sun.

He said 50% of melanoma cases are genetic, the other 50 are just bad luck. But I’m going to take the necessary precautions and be as smart about this as I can be. I can’t erase the last 30 years of sun exposure, but I do think I’ve had less exposure than the normal person. And thankfully we can be careful as we should be with Madilyn and the sun from the get-go, although her skin breaks out with every sunscreen we’ve tried so far. The doctor gave us some Aveeno Baby samples to try. I hope it works.

So my PSA for the day is have an annual mole check by a dermatologist. I’m upset that I’ve just had my family physician check and he didn’t recognize several moles that are suspicious. Go straight to the specialist.

UPDATE: Two weeks after this post I went back to the doctor and had three additional moles removed. The results of the first three biopsies showed that two of the spots on my back were pre-cancerous. I have to go back in two weeks to have a larger area of skin removed to make sure they got the roots so I won’t have future problems. Hopefully after that I’ll be done with my dermatological woes.

 

Atlas of Faiths

I’m up at 4 a.m. Stumble!ing around and found this cool illustration showing which faiths make up the majority of believers in different countries. Also includes a forecast, which seems more positive than the recent article about the death of Christianity in North America. Click the link below to see the full version.

http://www.spiegel.de/img/0,1020,775969,00.gif

 

What I’m Reading

I’ve never kept track of what I read, so this year I decided to try. I’m always curious what other people are reading, so I thought I’d share my list so far and include some opinions. These aren’t reviews by any means, just off-the-cuff impressions after having read them.

JANUARY
Angry Conversations with God: A Snarky but Authentic Spiritual Memoir
– Susan E. Isaacs – FaithWords

I write book reviews often for Christian Retailing magazine, and this was for them. Susan Isaacs, an actress, has written a bold and creative spiritual memoir in which she takes God to couples counseling. She bares all in this colorful, saucy, dysfunctional Christian version of Eat, Pray, Love. While this book may not be every Christian’s cup of tea, those who have been chewed up and spit out by this world and still long for a real relationship with Jesus will identify with Isaac’s story.

FEBRUARY
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
– Stephen R. Covey

I read this book in preparation for a 7 Habits retreat given by a client I work for. If you’ve never done any sort of personal examination, especially as it deals with your vocation, this is a great place to start.

The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness: Miniature Edition
– Stephen R. Covey

I personally found this volume to be more relevant to where I am vocationally than the 7 Habits. If you’re unaware of how the world of work has transformed in the “knowledge worker” age, you’re behind the times. This will catch you up.

Because I Said So
– Dawn Meehan – Guideposts

Another book I reviewed for CR. Dawn Meehan is a mom to six kids, so as you can imagine, her life is crazy at best, and chaotic at its worst. Meehan has a gift for humor writing, but her extreme sarcasm is at times too biting (she repeatedly refers to her husband as her seventh child). Meehan doesn’t claim to be perfect, at writing or at parenting, but her efforts are exceptional.

MARCH
Enough: Contentment in an Age of Excess
– Will Samson

I saw an ad for this at Relevantmagazine.com and bought it instantly. I want to become increasingly aware of how materialistic I’ve become growing up in this culture, in an effort to curb those tendencies. Will Samson is a former political and religious conservative, whose traded in his membership to join a camp of so-called liberals for all the right reasons – Kingdom ones.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
– Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

I’ve heard this was a good read, so I checked it out at the library. It’s a historical novel about the islands off the coast of the UK which were occupied by the Germans during WWI. I devoured it within two and a half days thanks to the Jane Austen feel to the writing.

Finding an Unseen God: Reflections of a Former Atheist
– Alicia Britt Chole

Another book I read for CR. This spiritual memoir deals with the author’s reasoned and intellectual approach to conversion. It’s a great insight for people who think atheists are “fools.” Her approach to belief, as an atheist and later as a believer, is more reasoned and intentional than many Christians who only wear the label culturally.

The Myth of a Christian Religion: Losing Your Religion for the Beauty of a Revolution
– Gregory A. Boyd – Zondervan

I reviewed this book for CR. Pastor Gregory Boyd unpacks the call to join the “beautiful revolution” that is the kingdom of God. He deals with so many topics I can’t name them all there, and they each kicked my tail. From politics, sex, to racial reconciliation and religion, Boyd minces no words, but heaps on hefty portions of grace to help the medicine go down.

Surprised by Hope: Rethinking Heaven, the Resurrection, and the Mission of the Church
– N. T. Wright

This book is fascinating. N.T. Wright is considered one of our generation’s leading New Testament scholars, and what he has to say about heaven and the resurrection will surprise you. This is a more cerebral read, but it’s worth the extra brain power. I’ve already bought this as a gift for a couple of my “thinking” friends.

APRIL
The Practice of the Presence of God
– Brother Lawrence

I was disappointed at the brevity of this title, after hearing so much about it from so many sources. But it’s still a gem. This is a book I’d like to read regularly. The discipline required to “practice the presence of God” is going to be a life-time challenge. So I’d better get started.

No, David!
– David Shannon

I wanted to mention this children’s book here, because I’ve read it so many times to Madilyn since Mom sent it to us. This book is adorable, and what’s even better is that Madilyn laughs her head off at every page. The illustrations are so great, so comical … and they must really speak to my little 1-and-a-half year old’s mind. She loves this book. David Shannon writes in the introduction that his mom sent him a book he made as a child. The only words in it were “no” and “David” and were filled with pictures of him doing all sort of things that get him in trouble. So the adult David revisits that theme in this book, and it is pure fun.

 

Review: “Angry Conversations With God”

Angry Conversations With God
Susan E. Isaacs
(Faith Words)
March 12, 2009

Susan Isaacs is not your average Christian comedian. She’s not even your average Christian. So don’t think for a second that Angry Conversations With God is your average Christian spiritual memoir. It’s anything but.

Exploring this “middle-class white girl’s dark night of the soul,” Isaac unpacks her warped, twisted ideas about God’s will, sex, sin and salvation in fictional accounts of actual therapy sessions where she took God to marriage counseling. To call this memoir creative would be the understatement of the year. Creative and original, yes, but it’s also chock-full of saucy language (i.e., profanity), bitterly painful memories and shockingly angry tirades at God.

While this book may not be every Christian’s cup of tea, those who have been chewed up and spit out by this world and still long for a real relationship with Jesus will identify with Isaac’s story. Isaacs’ bares all in this colorful, saucy, dysfunctional Christian version of Eat, Pray, Love, and proves that the naked truth is the only kind worth believing.

 

Eating Leftovers with a Spatula

Jeff, the birthday boy

Jeff and I ate at Kobe’s Steakhouse for his birthday tonight. We don’t eat there often, but when we do, it reminds me of my first days here in Orlando. It was the fall of 2001 and I had moved down here with just my clothes, IBM laptop and a few decorative items stuffed in the backseat of my hot new car (which I had to get rid of all too soon because it was a pretty piece of junk).

I knew no one other than my boss and two people from the church I would be attending (shout out to Rich and Brooke). My boss, his girlfriend, my coworkers (shout out to Cameron, Maya, Chris and crew) and I went out to eat at Kobe’s (back then they had BOGO coupons in the phone books), and as is always the case, I took half of the gargantuan portion back “home” (to my first apartment) to eat the next day. I went back the apartment the next day for lunch, as my one and only piece of furniture was being delivered (my lovely yellow couch, which I still have, only it’s mostly brown now). I warmed up my lunch and prepared to eat it, only I owned no silverware. Not even a plastic fork. The kind couple who let me live in their house until I got an apartment (shout out to Dale and Vicki) had given me some cooking utensils, so I ate with what I had: a black plastic spatula. Japanese noodles are very difficult to eat with a black plastic spatula. I don’t recommend it. But I do remember those days fondly and I certainly appreciate all the fine and nice things I have today.

Sleeping on a blow-up mattress in a roach-y apartment is not fun either. So maybe I don’t remember those days that fondly …

 

The Trials of Ted Haggard

CT posted an interview with Alexandra Pelosi, who put together a new documentary, The Trials of Ted Haggard, which debuts on HBO Thursday night (8 p.m. Eastern). Interesting piece … here’s an excerpt.

“I’m not a really religious person. We consider ourselves to be Catholics, but we think of it more as a cultural thing. But what I love about Ted’s story, at least about Ted’s family, is that the Bible got them through. They read the Bible. They would read these passages, and it moved me. I went out and bought a new Bible. When I was making Friends with God, everybody quoted the Bible, but I was never inspired to go buy one. But this experience with Ted turned me onto the Bible in a whole new way, because he would read these passages and it would really inspire me.

“People might come away from this movie being a little anti-church, but it makes you really pro-Bible. It makes you really pro-God in a way, because you read these things in the Bible and you’re like, wow.”