Milk in the Mashed Potatoes

This Tuesday marks the first stop of a Cake Wrecks book signing tour by one Orlando’s own. Jen Yates will be signing copies of her new book, Cake Wrecks: When Professional Cakes Go Hilariously Wrong, which releases Oct. 1. Cake Wrecks is one of my favorite blogs of all time. Jen is a wonderfully gifted humor writer, and she’s found a unique niche pointing out the hilarious in professional cakes gone awry. She’ll be at Borders in Winter Park starting at 5 p.m. I’ll be there (until 6:30 p.m.), and would love it if someone I knew was there too!

1. My favorite singer of all time is unashamedly Michael McDonald.
2. I have a crush on Donald Sutherland, which is unrelated to music, but related to white hair (see #1).
3. Growing up, I learned to sing parts from listening to 4Him. Andy was my favorite.
4. I listened to a lot of BeBe and CeCe Winans as a young girl, and gospel choirs. I still love that music.
5. I discovered Christian Hit Radio in 5th grade. I used to record hours of music on tape and relisten to it.
6. I discovered the music of Carman that same year (Darn you, Christian school!) I believed God sent me Carman so I wouldn’t crush on the New Kids on the Block. It didn’t work.
7. I crushed on Carman and the New Kids on the Block. Until Michael English came along. Then Clay Crosse.
8. I sang “I Can’t Make You Love Me” by Bonny Raitt for my college vocal recital.
9. That song (above), “Insensitive” by Jann Arden and “Lost the Plot” by the Newsboys were three of my favorite songs in college.
10. I once went to a Michael Bolton concert. It was the same day I had my front teeth bonded. Strange concurrence of memories.
11. My favorite concert entertainer is Harry Connick, Jr.
12. I want to see Brandi Carlile in concert but she’s not coming close enough on her fall tour.
13. I took piano lessons for about 10 years.
14. I played the flute for six years. My band instructor told me in Middle School that once I got my braces off, I might be pretty good, which pretty much crushed any ounce of self-confidence I had theretofore.
15. I almost minored in French in college, until my teacher told me I’d be better off minoring in English (see #14). I minored in graphic design because there was too much reading homework in English. La langue est surestimée.
16. My first interview ever as a journalism student was with Christopher Cross of “Sailing,” “Arthur’s Theme” and “Ride Like the Wind” fame.
17. I used to work at the Chevy/Geo Theater in the now defunct Opryland Do Wa Ditty City which hosted summer concerts for Alabama, Tanya Tucker and the Oak Ridge Boys. One year several acts came through, including Billy Ray Cyrus, whose sweat dripped on the top of my head while he was bending over the stage where I stood as security to prevent women from throwing their panties at him. I was also knocked down by a hoard of women rushing Randy Owen from Alabama, who then accidentally stepped on my finger while I was down. Speaking of, I leaned over to pick up my cheap watch that fell off my arm while Toby Keith happened to walk by after a meet-and-greet in the same theater. His reply was, “While you’re down there…” I didn’t know what he meant then, but I do now, and I don’t appreciate it.

This happy collection of memories is quickly going downhill.